From the moment we can say that word, we want to know "why" about everything.
Why is the sky blue?
Why is that building green?
Why do dogs bark?
Why does he walk like that?
Why does she treat me that way?
Why is he mad?
Why can't I do the things I know I should?
Why do I always undermine my best efforts?
Why can't I be the person I want to be?
Why hasn't my life turned out the way I planned?
When our "whys" are simple, curious questions, they can usually be answered without too much difficulty--we have Google and Alexa after all! When our "whys" start touching on our emotions, answers are not so easily found. In addition, in the emotional realm, striving to understand, seeking for insight, trying to figure it all out can sometimes become an obstacle, an excuse, to avoid taking action.
An old Zen proverb states:
"If you understand, things are just as they are;
If you don't understand, things are just as they are."
In today's vernacular, we would say "it is what it is." Seeing things as they are, accepting things as they are, gives us a course of action to make changes. When we refuse to see things as they are, constantly hoping, wishing, or expecting them to be different, we often get stuck in a cycle of disappointment, resentment, and helplessness and nothing changes.
Today, instead of asking "why" about something difficult or disappointing in your life, trying looking at the reality of the situation and asking "HOW?" instead. How do I want things to be different? That will get you unstuck and give you a great action plan to implement to get you where you want to be.
Why are you still sitting there? 😉